Disclaimer: This story involves the New Mutants, which belong to Marvel. And while the events of this story are referred to in my 'Facing The Music' series, you don't have to read that to follow this.
Warning: I know some of you may think that this story needs a warning due to it's slashy themes, language, and religious discussions. For those of you who think that way, I've told you. Personally, I'm more likely to warn that my understanding of Two Spirited-ness and of the Cheyenne culture is lacking. And for any mistakes I've made, please know I made them honestly.
Thanks: To Luba, Em, and especially Samy. A special thanks to AtlantaCon, since this story has it roots in a discussion we had on QueenB's dining room floor.
Tolerance: Part One
Fifteen-year old Rahne Sinclair did her best to hold back the tears as she climbed the stairs to her bedroom. Another D on a test that she had studied hard for. Her period was coming. And none of the guys liked her. Life wasn't fair.
And Dani had Amara and Berto in her room, her nose told her. Oh well. This time they would have to leave. She wanted to curl up on her bed and pig out on chocolate. They were going to be the ones to leave the room, she thought as she opened the door.
A spilt second later, she slammed it shut and fought to catch her breath. Dani and Amara and Berto were all naked in the room. Not a stitch on. And Amara had Berto ... his thing in her... and Dani had been ... with her mouth on Amara's... Rahne started to blush, trying her hardest not to think about what she had seen, trying her hardest to just breathe. No. No. No way could her best friend have been down there. No way in a very hot place.
There had to be a simple explanation for what seemed to be going on. It had been hot. The air conditioner had broken. Mind control. Something. Anything. Please dear Lord, let there be an explanation for what she had seen. Not an orgy... not a reason that Dani had been wearing Amara's scent for the past month or so. Just a simple trip and fall... Her friend couldn't be a homosexual. Homosexuals were evil. Her friend was nice. Dani was good. Not evil. Not going to go straight to hell. There was no way that Dani could be a homosexual.
Rahne looked at the doorknob again and shook her head, trying to blink back her tears. This could not be happening.
**
It took the sound of the door slamming shut to make the threesome realize that someone had entered the room. "Shit!" Dani muttered as she closed her eyes. "Tell me that..."
Berto nodded. "It was Rahne," he confirmed as he felt the moment being shattered. "She saw everything."
Quickly Dani started to find a complete set of clothing. "Shit, damn, fuck, hell!" she whispered as she slipped on a top. "I-"
Amara nodded, understanding exactly what the woman was thinking, but her fear was different. "She'll tell, won't she?" Her first thought was self-preservation. If Xavier knew that his students were having sex, he'd find a way to send her back to Nova Roma, where her father would declare her unmarriageable. Which meant she'd end up in a brothel, a place normally reserved for the lower classes, the Incas and the poor, or sold to some senator as a mistress, which meant she'd have no control over her destiny.
Dani shot her lover a deadly look. "She won't tell.." she predicted. "She'll just hate me." It was a given in her mind. The second that Rahne had seen what was going on in their room, her upbringing by Craig kicked in, and she automatically labeled what she saw as evil. Their friendship, one of the best points of being a New Mutant, was over.
Berto started to say something, but bit his tongue as Dani raced out of the bedroom.
**
"Rahne!" Dani called out as she tracked her friend down to the lake. "I can explain."
Even if she had managed to come up with a perfectly logical, totally fictional and one hundred percent believable excuse for what her friend had stumbled onto, it wouldn't have mattered. "Leave me alone!" Rahne shouted at the woman. "Jist leave me alone!" Dani didn't heed her friend's request and started to catch up with her. Once she was even with the smaller woman, she grabbed her arm. Rahne jerked it away. "I have nothing to say ta ye," the red head hissed venomously. "A donnea know ye." She looked at her friend with deadly cold blue eyes. "And A don't care tae."
Rahne instinctively shifted into her wolven form and started to run off. Dani closed her eyes and tried to mentally reach out to her friend through their empathic link. "Can't we even talk about it?" she begged. "It was unbelievably stupid of us to use my room... I should have thought about you catching us..." It was as close as she could come to begging.
All she got in response was silence as Rahne locked Dani out of her mind.
**
Sam Guthrie was no stranger to women. He had grown up with a mother, two grandmothers, three sisters, ten aunts, and more female cousins than he could shake a stick at. A long time ago, his father had taught him to track the menstrual cycles of those women he shared a house with. So he really didn't think too much of Rahne's sullen silence at the dinner table that night, or the tension that was present in the room, so thick he could cut it with a knife. What did bother him though was the fact that he, Illyana and Doug were the only ones to try to talk, and when they did try to bring something up, it was quickly shut down.
Something had happened between Dani, Rahne and Amara. Something serious, he realized as she dithered over the dishes, trying her best to stay out of the same room as the other women. He finished with the pans in half the time she took to clear the table and wash the dishes. Sam looked up from setting the table for breakfast and tried to talk to her. "What's new?"
"Nothing." Rahne answered succinctly. "Nothing A wanna talk about."
He shrugged. "Ah can't believe you're letting Amara hog all the hot water tonight." Normally, Rahne made a point to get in the showers before the other woman started hers.
"Trust me..." Rahne whispered, "She and Dani can have all the hot water in the world."
"Whatever happened between the three of y'all, it can't be that bad." Sam said soothingly. "Ya should hear how Joelle and Paige can carry on at times..."
Rahne shot him a dark look as she finished setting the silverware. "A'm not talking to them."
"Okay." Sam said as he went back into the kitchen. "Why don't we pop some popcorn and watch some TV?"
Doug walked into the room, overhearing the last bit. "I ..." he smiled sheepishly. "I bought 'The Little Mermaid' this afternoon," he admitted. Rahne squealed happily as he said that. "Thought that might make your night," he said as he opened the door to the living area.
The door swung back in time to shut squarely in Sam's face.
**
Even though Dani was starting to feel that it was a lost cause, she still sat up late at that night, waiting for Rahne to come in and want to talk. Every gesture she had made had been rebuffed by the red-headed, self-righteous, pig-headed seemingly former friend of hers. And the sad part was that Dani really couldn't blame Rahne for her initial response to discovering that Dani's sexuality fell outside of what Rahne considered natural and normal.
Truthfully, Dani had never intended for Rahne to find out the truth about herself. And the younger woman wouldn't have had if the three of them, in their eagerness to do what Amara had suggested, had stopped to think that Rahne might walk in her own room. Or if Dani had thought about locking the door.
In some ways, the fact she was bisexual wasn't a big deal and didn't shape who she was. She was still the same person that loved to ride horseback, shoot arrows, study history, and draw. Yet... it was also everything too. It shaped who she was, who she found attractive, what she did around those people.
And it hurt. It hurt when Rahne talked about her latest crush and Dani had to keep her mouth shut. It hurt when she saw a group of girls whispering about which movie star had the best butt, and she wanted to talk about which one had the best breast. Keeping a part of herself secret had become an invisible wall between her and her peers, one that she didn't know how to tear down... or whether she wanted to.
As a Cheyenne, her grandfather had raised her to follow her dreams, believing that dreams could be visions from the Gods, even when she confessed that she dreamed of being both man and woman. He wanted her to follow her natural instincts when it came to who she was, respecting that she preferred to mingle with the men, doing their work, enjoying their lifestyle. To his traditional way of thinking, a child's sex did not mean their gender. As he taught her about the old ways, he taught her the stories that celebrated females who hunted, led war parties, and became chiefs. He taught her to celebrate the fact that she was Two-Spirited.
Two-Spirited people, he told her, had a special connection to the Gods because they were both male and female. In the past, the elders would beg the Gods to send them to the tribe. And more realistically, she had come from a tribe where women could outnumber men two to one, and the addition of one who felt that she was a male was something to be grateful for.
Her parents were a different matter, having been educated in Catholic mission schools, more or less forced to cast off what remained of their traditional beliefs. They tried their best to raise Dani to be a white woman, with the typical beliefs and traditional gender roles, even though she didn't fit into them at all. They saw her bent towards her heritage as a symptom of her natural rebellious nature, and did everything they could to correct it.
If they ever found out, it would shatter them. Not only because of her sexuality, but because it would be irrevocable proof that she had rejected everything that they had tried to raise her to accept. She could never feel ashamed of who she was- she believed that being who she was allowed her to have the best of both genders- but she was ashamed of the lies she had to tell to be accepted by those she loved the most.
**
Rahne smiled as she cuddled next to Doug, wiggling her way under his arm. This moment was as close to heaven as she'd ever known, sitting next to a guy who liked her as much as she liked him. In fact, a second ago, he'd even brushed his lips against hers... her first kiss! She was nearly floating on air.
Yet, thoughts of Dani threatened to ruin the moment. She couldn't understand how her former friend could think about kissing a woman, much less... Rahne frowned as she closed her eyes, trying to block the mental image of what she had seen. It was right, natural and normal for women to like men. It wasn't right for them to like other women.
Rahne bit her lip, knowing she couldn't even tell Dani about her first kiss. She wasn't comfortable telling Moira. And Sam still brought up confusing, conflicting feelings, and she couldn't dream of telling him. She balled her fist and blinked back her tears, angry that she couldn't tell anybody what had just happened. It wasn't fair.