First Blood: Part Four

by JenesisX

The remainder of the night following the battle was a long, painful ordeal that seemed to last forever. Aliya and I rushed around camp until well into the next morning, aiding those injured in battle and surveying the exact damage our camp had sustained. I eventually forced her to sit down for long enough to allow me to carefully tend to her arm wound, a mild but painful energy burn that ran from her wrist nearly to her elbow. My only injury other than several bumps and scrapes was a splitting headache and near exhaustion from my extreme use of my mutant power, but I forced the pain from my mind and did what I had to, ignoring her continued insistence that I rest and allow her to take care of things instead. I refused to lie down when so much needed doing, going about my unspoken duties as leader while convincingly hiding all traces of pain both physical and emotional... At least I hopes it was convincing.

Most of us managed to sleep for a few hours once the injured were resting peacefully and the dead had been respectfully laid out at the end of the camp, awaiting the ceremony we'd hold for them the following day. Despite the burning guilt and anger I felt, I had fallen asleep quickly, giving in to my exhaustion and pain and allowing dreams to claim me. Unfortunately, I only relived the horrors of the attack in each one, and the brief rest didn't leave me feeling much better.

I was lying in bed after a particularly vivid dream in the early morning, about to get up and face the day I was dreading when a shadow appeared in the dim sunlight outside the flap of my tent. Still shaky from the endless nightmares, I bolted into a sitting position and grabbed for my rifle. I watched the figure reach out one hand to open the tent flap, and held my grip tight on my weapon. I couldn't hear anyone else outside yet, and they were mostly all still asleep or busy with other matters. Somehow, a Canaanite had remained, and now--

"While your imagination is quite vivid, Nathan, you will find that your visitor is Aliya, and not an attacker," Professor interjected before I could act. This time, I was extremely thankful, not wanting to think about what might have happened.

I groaned, still feeling the pain in my head, cursing myself for having not scanned first yet again. But in my state of exhaustion, I wasn't sure I could have managed accurately anyway. A moment later, Aliya opened my tent flap and peered inside cautiously, nearly jumping out of her skin when she saw my staring back at her, my left eye flickering with golden energy in the dimness. I'd been sure to hide my weapon before she noticed, not wanting her to think I was losing my mind.

"Oh... I'm sorry, did I wake you?" she asked quietly, blushing to have been caught looking in on me. "I just... You were so tired last night that I wanted to... Well, make sure you were all right, I guess..."

"I'm fine... And I was already awake," I told her, humiliated that she'd found me in such a state. I pulled my blanket up over my bare chest, embarrassed by the techno-organics that spread from my left arm across part of my chest and back, as well as by my lack of just about anything other than skin covering bone as far as muscles went. Quickly running a hand through my hair while the other maintained my iron grip on the blanket, I saw Aliya roll her eyes and smile faintly.

"Oath, you are so modest," she said, shaking her head. "Trust me, I didn't come here hoping to catch a glimpse of you without your shirt, Nathan." There was a mixture of scolding and mockery in her voice, and I felt my face redden. Still, I didn't move to lower the blanket, remaining huddled in the corner of my tent and watching her suspiciously. I felt so ugly in comparison to her...Even in the plainest of clothing, with one arm neatly bandaged and a small scrape across her cheek, Aliya was attractive enough to stop my heart. No, I corrected myself, attractive didn't begin to describe it. She was perfect. And I wasn't exactly what I'd consider appealing to begin with. Yet, I could feel a warmth radiating from her as she stood there, watching me, and finally allowed myself the smallest of smiles.

"Then why did you come?" I challenged a bit slyly, not bothering to brush my bangs away when they fell into my face again.

"I told you, to make sure you were all right..." she said, a little flustered. I was a little proud of myself for getting her to admit that again. I grinned triumphantly, then shook my head to wipe away the expression before she got angry with me.

"That's nice of you," I said, careful to control my tone and keep the thrill at her concern out of my voice. "I admit I still have a headache... But it was worth it to get those bastards out of our camp." Recalling my attack on their leader, so fueled by fear and anger, I fought off a sudden wave of illness in the pit of my stomach at all that had happened and all we had lost the night before. I didn't want to face it, part of me still hoping it had all been yet another nightmare. But I knew I'd have to, sooner or later... At the moment, I just wanted it to be as much later as possible. I was being a coward, but I didn't care.

Aliya nodded seriously, shifting her weight where she came to stand just inside my tent a bit awkwardly as if sensing my grief. And maybe she had...For my part, I couldn't take my eyes away from her, suddenly quite pleased with the idea of her being there with me no matter how bad I might have looked or felt. Finally, she interrupted my chaotic thoughts with a sigh, as if steeling herself to say or do something particularly difficult.

"Nathan?" she asked hesitantly, now avoiding looking in my direction as her mouth turned down in a nervous frown. I raised an eyebrow in surprise, tilting my head to study her better.

"Yeah?"

"Would you..." she trailed off, interrupting herself and clenching her fists at her sides. She winced with the movement of her injured arm, and I fought an urge to invite her to come sit with me so I could try and relieve her pain. "Would you take a walk with me?" she finally finished, looking back to me a bit hopefully. I grinned, relieved that that had been all she wanted to say, and nodded with enthusiasm.

"Of course... If you give me a minute to get dressed, that is." I gestured around at my unruly appearance and the bed with an amused smirk, causing her to blush again.

"Oh... right... I'd forgotten how I barged in on you," she said with a small laugh. Then, she quickly turned and left my tent once I'd promised to join her in just a few minutes. As promised, I dressed as fast as I could, threw my blanket out of the way, and cleaned myself up using the cool water I'd kept in a bucket off to one side. After a quick reassurance from the Professor that I looked presentable, I left my tent with a bit more confidence and joined Aliya outside.

Standing out there on the morning after our first battle, I gazed around at our camp with wide eyes, taking in all of the damage that had resulted. Tents were reduced to smoldering ruins, the ground and trees were scarred with energy burns and deep craters from various explosions, and the smell of chemicals was still fresh in the air. There was blood on the ground, too, something I hastily averted my eyes from. I didn't want to think about it, or about the seventeen dead members of my Clan awaiting the proper respects not so far away. I swallowed hard at the destruction and emptiness around me, the strong emotions of the others flooding my weakened mind. I winced and raised a hand to my head, feeling such pain and loss all around me, stumbling a bit in surprise. But before I could fall, Aliya had caught a hold of me with her good arm around my waist, shaking her head and biting her lip.

"I thought so..." she muttered, studying me closely. "You're a lot weaker after that attack of yours than you're willing to admit."

"No... I'm not," I protested pathetically, blinking to clear my vision. My ears picked up the sound of crying in the distance, and I fought down a new wave of nausea. "I was just... surprised... I didn't expect..."

"Didn't expect what? Didn't expect people to be upset by losing their home and the people they loved?" Aliya snapped at me, pulling away so abruptly that I nearly fell again. I winced and opened my mouth to protest, even as my mind entertained the thought of crawling back to my tent and staying there forever.

Before I could speak, though, Aliya dropped her eyes and sighed, shaking her head.

"I'm sorry... That was uncalled for," she said, sounding ashamed. "Come on, let's get away from here for a little while... That's why I wanted to take a walk, so we could talk without having to deal with all of this..."

I closed my eyes, gathered all of my strength, and tightened my mental shielding as best I could, just as Redd had taught me when I was very young. As I recalled the lessons we'd had together, I fought off a childish longing for my adopted mother to come and make everything better, knowing that it wasn't possible. A moment later, the assault of emotions had lessened to a level I could tolerate and ignore, and I forced myself to stand up straighter.

I nodded to her sharply, still feeling hurt by her statement but not wanting her to know how powerful an effect she could have on me without even intending to.

"All right," I muttered, the idea of avoiding all the pain around me very tempting despite my discomfort with her. "Where do you want to go?"

"To the lake... Where else?" She smiled slightly and I relaxed a bit, pleased that she would think of my private place-- our place-- first of all others. I nodded my agreement, then turned and followed after her as she started across the near-silent camp and into the woods.

I followed her in silence, still feeling a bit wounded as well as weakened from the onslaught of pure emotion raging in the camp. She didn't look back once or slow her pace until she'd reached the shore of the lake. I stopped awkwardly about ten feet behind her, just staring as she stared down at her reflection in the still lake. She looked so deep in concentration and so tense that I started to come forward, meaning to comfort her, when she sighed heavily and finally turned to face me.

"Don't just stand there... Come sit, Nathan, before you wear yourself out again." She gestured to our usual place, the large, flat boulder overlooking the waters, then walked to it and hopped up with some difficulty, using only one arm to support her weight. I hesitantly came to join her, more easily lifting myself to sit about a foot away from her. To my surprise, she surveyed the distance between us and sighed, shaking her head sadly. I watched her with wide eyes, unsure of what was wrong.

"What?" I asked with a slightly defensive edge. "You told me to sit here..."

"I know that!" Aliya snapped, irritation flashing in her eyes. "But I was... Well, I wanted us to be away from everyone because..." She looked down into her lap, and I was startled to find tears forming in her eyes. "I lost a lot of friends yesterday," she went on in a whisper, one tear escaping to trickle down her cheek. "And I know you did, too... It hurts, and I just wanted... If you could..." She sniffed and glanced up to me, looking like a frightened child desperate for comfort. I'd never seen this side of her before, and it tore at my heart. For the first time, her strong, independent exterior was melting away to reveal the more sensitive, emotional person beneath. She tried so hard to hide it, to pretend that nothing that happened could ever bother her, never wanting others to think she was weak or in need of their help. An understanding dawned on me suddenly, explaining why she so often acted coldly toward me even though in rare, quieter moments she claimed to love me. And at the same time, I was hit with the startling realization that when I looked into her eyes and saw what lie beneath her carefully practiced defenses, I was looking at myself...

My breath catching in my throat as I realized how blind and foolish I'd been to think for one minute that she wasn't secretly as lonely and afraid as I was, I realized what it was she needed from me even before I slowly opened the mind link between us. Feeling her reach back to me through the link, sharing her sorrow and fears with me as I allowed her to see just how devastated the attack had left me, I reached across the inches between us and pulled her into my arms, hugging her close to my side as she rested her head against my chest and allowed the tears to fall. Overcome by the emotions I left through our link, her love for me mixed with grief over her loss, as well as seeing her so upset as she clung to me soon had me crying as well. I never thought I would let anyone see that side of me again, not after having lost so many people by the time I entered my teens. Even Tetherblood had never seen me cry in all of our time together. But if she could overcome her own barriers to share herself with me, I could certainly do the same. Besides, if we cried together, neither of us would have anything to feel ashamed or embarrassed about afterwards.

I held her as we cried together, unaware of the passage of time. With neither of us bothering to shield our end of the mental link, we shared much more than we ever dared before. It didn't worry me, though, because I could feel her acceptance of who I was despite everything I had ever done or felt even as she hid her face against me. I ran a hand softly through her hair and down her back, doing everything I knew of to make her feel safe again. We didn't speak as we held each other, allowing the emotions passing between us and our arms around each other to do the communication. Besides, I mused, we seemed to get along a lot better when we didn't speak. I often spoke without thinking first, or lashed out in fear or anger, but by allowing the link between us to remain open, I knew she would see how I really felt despite my poor verbal expression of myself. Maybe that was why I'd been given the gift of telepathy...

"Jakob was a good man..." Aliya whispered against me a short time later, still sniffling a bit though the tears had ceased to fall. "We had gotten to be friends after the raid we ran back in the beginning..."

"He was my friend, too," I said softly, lifting a hand to wipe the last remaining tear from her face before it could drip off her chin. "And so were a lot of the others... Torin, Junon, Jade... They were all good people. Even the ones I didn't have a chance to get to know... And now I never will."

"It's not your fault," she said suddenly, lifting her head to look me in the eye. "There was nothing you could have done to prevent the attack or to protect them. I want you to stop blaming yourself, Nathan. You may be the leader of this group, but every little thing wrong with this world is not something you can control!"

There was a hint of anger and frustration in her voice, and I was about to ask her how she could possibly know how guilty I felt over what had happened when I realized that it was all there for her to see through the link. Sighing, I shook my head and met her eyes, my words sounding shaky as I spoke.

"But... I should have been more careful, Aliya. I planned for defenses for the wrong end of the camp! I should have seen ahead of time, trained them all better, sensed the Canaanites coming... Something! They depended on me and followed me, and I let them down... All of them."

I hung my head, trying to pull away from our mental link to hide my feelings when a sudden bolt of intense loneliness and loss hit me so hard that I winced, lifting a hand to my head in shock and pain. Aliya seemed to feel it as well, tensing and tightening her grip on my arm in response. Once the terrifying feeling has passed, I caught my breath and settled for physically struggling out of her arms. Unsure of why closing off the link was suddenly so painful that I didn't even dare to attempt it again, I folded my arms across my chest protectively and stared off into the distance, looking in direction of our ruined camp and the bodies of those I had led to die with haunted eyes.

"Nathan, please," Aliya said from behind me, a desperate note in her voice as she reached out to lay a gentle hand on my shoulder. "Don't... don't turn your back on me like this. I'm just trying to help you..."

Hesitantly, I felt her lift her other hand to my opposite shoulder and tentatively begin to massage my tense muscles. I flinched at her touch and started to shrug away from the contact, but after a few moments found myself subconsciously relaxing and leaning back against her. I didn't know if she realized it or not, but she was very good with her hands, and not only in battle... I closed my eyes and slowly began to relax, until I had finally collected myself enough to speak calmly and think before acting.

"It's just that a lot of responsibility has been thrown onto me all of a sudden," I said quietly as she continued to work the stiffness from my neck and shoulders. "I'm supposed to be some wonderful, perfect savior, in addition to our rebellion leader, and I can't help but feel that they expect more from me... More than I'm capable of..."

"If they do, they're fools," Aliya said, never pausing as she spoke. "They have to realize that you're only human, and that you've already accomplished quite a few miracles as far as most people are concerned."

"I wouldn't go that far," I said, rolling my eyes. "I only did what I had to do... I couldn't just stand by and watch any more."

"And that, Nathan Dayspring, is what makes you special," she said, leaning over to brush her lips against my neck as her hands remained on my shoulders. I almost gasped in surprise but caught myself, instead closing my eyes again and smiling as I enjoyed the thrilling new experience. She was certainly more brave than I was... I could barely manage to hold her hand without feeling nervous. I admired her for that, glad that one of us, at least, had the courage to further our relationship. It wasn't as if I had any past experience to call on, after all. As that thought passed my mind, a second, much more disturbing one followed. Was that why she wasn't as nervous as I was? Had she--

"No, silly," Aliya said suddenly, lifting her head and sliding her hands down to rest on my chest. "I have exactly as much past romance experience as you do. Namely, none."

"Oh," I said with a sigh of relief, comfortably leaning against her again. "I was just afraid that maybe you..."

"Nathan, you found me among the Sisterhood, and I'd been there for years! We didn't exactly get a lot of male visitors. In fact, you were the first to my knowledge."

"I sort of figured that by your reaction, yeah," I said with a grin, recalling her shocked, nearly disgusted tone when she'd been instructed to take me as her student. At the same time, I couldn't help wondering if Madam Sanctity had known all along what would happen when she placed us together...

Shaking my head, not wanting to involve her often twisted ideas in our relationship, I sighed and glanced back at Aliya.

"I think I've decided what to do, now," I told her, my doubts lessened by our quiet time together. Nevertheless, I took a deep breath before continuing. "We have to abandon the camp."

"I thought you might say that... and I agree with you completely."

"You do?" I asked, surprised by how certain she sounded, as if she'd known all along. And maybe she had, I thought.

"Of course. They know where we are now, we've already lost half of it to destruction, and they'll only come back until they take the rest."

"Yeah..." I said, saddened by the thought despite my pride at having her agree with me. "It's time to move on... We'll find somewhere else just as nice, start all over again... Build up even better than before! And next time, we'll be ready!"

I grinned defiantly as Aliya came around to sit beside me, also smiling now. I put my arm around her as we both took a long look into the still lake before us. "I'll miss this place, though," Aliya said, voicing my own thoughts perfectly.

"Me too," I agreed, thinking of all the surprising and wonderful events that had happened there. Tetherblood and I had had quite a few gatherings at this location, to swim and horse around, or just to talk as best friends about everything from the rebellion to women to weapons. I'd spent a lot of time meditating by the shore as well, either sitting alone on the large rock or hanging from a low branch of the thick tree off to my right. But by far my fondest memories were of my time there with Aliya, whether we were arguing or not. More importantly, it was where we'd revealed our love for each other, something I would never forget as long as I lived, no matter what happened to us in the future.

"But we'll always have the memories, right?" Aliya asked, interrupting the quiet reflections that she shared through our link. I turned to her and smiled, lifting her chin to kiss her in reply.

"Right," I replied a moment later, hugging her tightly. "I could never forget you, even if I wanted to. And for the life of me I don't know why I'd want to do that..."

Aliya chuckled softly, hugging me back just as firmly before we broke away. I realized with some surprise that our mental link still remained, and contrary to past experience it didn't make me the least bit uncomfortable. Aliya made no move to close off her end, either, and so I decided to keep it open. Maybe forever... I thought to myself with a rising excitement at the new connection between us.

Finally, I realized we'd been gone for quite some time and hopped down from our rock for the last time, offering Aliya my hand as she, too, gracefully returned to the ground. Never releasing my hold on her hand, I took one last look at our special place before turning away, making my way back to camp with a new determination and feeling of bravery. I knew what I had to do that day would not be easy... I would have to first speak at the ceremony for our dead, then inform everyone that we would be leaving our home behind to move on to a new beginning. But with Aliya beside me, reassurance and confidence reaching out to me through our new link, I decided that there wasn't anything so difficult that I couldn't accomplish it. The Canaanites could take our homes and every possession we owned a thousand times over, but it would never dampen our desire to fight on and take it all back tenfold. They may have overpowered us, outnumbered us, and even outsmarted us from time to time, but the love and loyalty that we felt for each other was something they could never experience or take away, no matter what new weaponry or technology they found to use against us. We had something more... something better... And as long as it remained in the heart of every member of my group, nothing on Earth could stop us.

End

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