Survivors

by DuAnn Cowart

Each party, just like each person, has it's own personality. There is a very distinct psychology to human gatherings. Dynamics of a party include standard variables of location, occasion, persons attending, and the thousand other less identifiable factors which add up to create the intangible essence which is the soul of the party. Just like people, no two parties are alike. They can be good or bad, fun or stilted, passionate or dreary, and all levels in between.

There are Eleanor Roosevelt gatherings- brilliant and kind and ultimately human, but not likely to result in undergarments strewn on the floor.

There are Martha Stewart formal occasions, with perfect ettiquette, lovely decorations, and everything just so. Again, these are very rarely threats to chastity.

And of course, there are Hugh Hefner Bacchanalian orgies during which one would be well advised to watch the floor lest one step in something unsavory. Usually involving vast quantities of alcohol and phernomes, this sort of revelry is often coupled with subsequently magnificient hangovers and appropriately hazy recollections.

This Thursday night on the Carrier definitely fit into the latter category. In keeping with the team's new proactive approach to the world they lived in, the Authority's otherworldly home had become a much sought after party spot. Here superhumans and celebrities mingled together in a heady mix of superficiality and sensationalism. Porn stars frolicked with cyborgs, aliens cavorted with royalty, and a good time was had by all.

In the midst of all this revelry, Victoria Ojuku, the woman once known as Flint, sat alone at a corner table in one of the Carrier's makeshift bars and watched it all. Raising her glass to her lips, she took another sip of the gin and tonic she'd been nursing all night and watched the ebb and flow of brightly colored people as the party surged around her.

She was quiet, at the party but not really a part of it. Indeed, she felt like she'd not been a true part of anything for a very, very long time- for a little over a year now, actually.

She stared morosely into her drink, swirling the clear liquid around and around the glass. 'Why the hell did I agree to come tonight?' she asked herself, not for the first time that night. The answer was easy. 'Because Jackson and Christine asked me to. And whatever else they might be, they're still first-class manipulators.'

Although Victoria no longer offically worked with any SPB agency she still served as a freelance operative, for after all she'd seen and done there was no way to go back to a 'normal' life. It hadn't been easy- apart from the emotional trauma of having the people who were in essence her family murdered before her very eyes, she'd had to readjust to living planetside again without the amenities of the space station that had been her home for so many years. Kenya hadn't been home to her in years, so she'd had to start all over.

Financial realities demanded that she keep her U.N. retainer, which carried with it the moral responsibility to be of use in any way she could-- and that included coordinating her solo efforts with Jackson and Christine's fledgling SPB intelligence office. Over the last year she'd worked quite closely with the only other survivors of Stormwatch.

Well- the other *official* survivors of Stormwatch. She hadn't spoken with any members of Stormwatch Black since declining Jenny Sparks' offer of membership in the Authority a year ago.

Since then, the team had attained almost universal celebrity as members of The Authority. Victoria, along with the rest of the world, had watched on her television as the Authority staved off global threats, protecting the people of the Earth from forces beyond their ken and control. She, like the rest of the world, had been horrified to learn of Sparks' death. The only difference was that she'd known Jenny personally, as a teammate if not as a friend.

The entire world had wept when Jenny Sparks died.

Who had cried for Stormwatch?

Victoria swallowed her bitterness, chasing it with gin as she downed the rest of her drink in one gulp. 'I knew this was a bad idea,' she thought angrily, rising from her seat. 'I thought I'd dealt with all these feelings, but being here on a space station with so many costumes- I should have expected this.'

She slammed her drink down, and the resounding impact shattered the empty glass in her hand. She stared dully at the broken pieces, then laughed humorlessly before turning to walk away into the brightly colored crowd.

**********

Across the room a slender, attractive Asian woman walked towards the the packed bar, arm in arm with a much younger man. She leaned into him and whispered loudly to be heard over the pounding music, "Eddie, be a dear and get me a drink, will you? That's a good boy," she purred.

The dark haired young man stepped back, a slightly confused look on his squarely handsome face. "Um. . .ok. What do you want?"

Shen Li-Men, Swift of the Authority, tilted her head forward, and uneven dark bangs fell mysteriously over her eyes. "Surprise me," she ran a hand down his tattoed chest, a world of promise in her eyes. "And I might just surprise you later."

Hardly able to believe his ears, Edward Chang nodded eagerly and was gone, stumbling over his feet like a puppy.

Shen watched him go, admiring the way young muscles filled out leather pants. 'Well, Mrs. Robinson,' she chuckled at herself. 'Why don't you find a cozy corner table for two?' With that happy thought in mind, she turned to maneuver through the crowd, nodding and smiling to various acquaintances as she passed.

She was so caught up in doing so that she walked straight into someone's back. "I'm sorry," she automatically apologized politely, stepping back to give the other person room to turn around. "I wasn't watching where I was going--" She looked up, and drew in a sharp breath.

"VICTORIA?!?"

The dark woman blinked, then looked down to see what nuisance had stepped on her heels and was now calling her name. Dark eyes opened wide in surprise.

"SHEN?"

Shen's face lit up, and she rose on her tiptoes to impulsively embrace the taller woman. Victoria surprised herself by returning the hug.

"Shen, it's great to see you," she greeted her old teammate with a small smile.

Shen stepped back, obviously delighted. "You too, Vicky! It's been so long- I haven't seen you since-"

There was a long, awkward pause. "Before Stormwatch dissolved," Victoria crossed her arms over her chest protectively, a harsh note creeping into her lilting voice.

A lesser woman would have stammered then, but Shen Li-Men only nodded respectfully. "I know. I'm very sorry, Vicky."

"Me too," Victoria murmured softly, powerful hands clenching into tight fists. Consciously smoothing out her expression, she changed the subject. "But that's neither here nor there. How are you these days?"

Almond eyes darted to the side, searching for her . . . date. She located him standing in the back of one of the longest lines to the crowded bar, chatting in an animated manner with another tall blond boy about his age. Turning to Victoria, she smiled. "I have a feeling I'm going to be here a while. Would you care to wait with me, Flint?"

"Victoria," she corrected hastily, voice strangely flat. "Not Flint. I'm just Victoria now, Shen."

Shen blinked, but nodded slowly. "All right, then, Victoria. Care to join me?"

Victoria paused for a minute, glancing at the exit door, then back at her old friend. She drew in a breath and smiled a bit shakily. "Sounds good."

The two women made their way to the back of the room and seated themselves at the table Victoria had just left. Shen cast an odd glance at the pile of broken glass on the metal table but said nothing.

Victoria spoke first. "You didn't answer my question."

"What question?" Shen asked pleasantly, settling into her chair, angling it so she could see the bar.

"How you're doing. I've been keeping up with you all through Jackson and Christine, and through the news, of course, but I'd like to hear it from you. How's active duty treating you these days?" Victoria managed a smile, though Shen could tell its cost was dear.

"Better than I ever thought it could be," Shen breathed, and Victoria saw a glint of genuine delight in her eyes. "It's so wonderful to be able to do what we want, when we want to- to and not have to erase our trail or worry about whether we'll get sufficient resources or support to do the job properly- it's grand."

"I guess it would be nice to come out of covert ops," Victoria admitted. "I remember how much Jenny hated all the secrecy of what you were forced to do." She winced at her own insensitivity at mentioning the late Sparks, barely dead a month.

To her surprise, the other woman didn't flinch, only nodded softly. "She did. She was never happier than when we left that role and began to operate in the open as the Authority. She would love what we're doing now."

"Shen- I'm sorry about Jenny," Victoria managed. "I truly am. How she died-"

"Was how she was meant to die," Shen interrupted, but this time Victoria heard Shen's smooth voice crack ever so slightly. "She knew that. It was her time, Victoria, and she left making this world a better place. It was as it was meant to be."

"How lovely for her," Victoria snapped, faces of those who weren't so fortunate flickering through her memory. She made a face. "In any case, please let me express how truly sorry I am for her loss."

"Thank you," Shen murmured quietly, eyeing the other woman speculatively. "I thought we might have seen you at the funeral."

"I could have said the same," Victoria said coldly, staring at the other woman with eyes as hard as her namesake. Accusatory words came bubbling out from a fissure deep inside she thought long since healed. "You weren't at the Memorial Service." She hadn't needed to specify which. "None of Stormwatch Black was."

Stricken, Shen tried to meet her eyes but the naked anger in them made her look away. "I'm sorry," she tried to explain, memories taking her back over a year. "You have no idea how very sorry I am. I *would* have been there, I swear it, but IO agents were at Malcolm's hospital bed- someone had to be there to protect him."

"I suppose nobody else could have done the job, eh?" Shen's remarks had tapped a vein of rage that Victoria didn't know still existed, and she lashed ou angrily "Anybody could have guarded Malcolm, but-" She paused, picking her way through the words as carefully and furiously as a cat with wet paws. "But they were Stormwatch. They were your *family*, Shen, and you weren't there."

The smaller woman stiffened at the harsh accusation. "What could I have done?" She demanded, body taut as a spring. "They were not the first family I have lost, Victoria. What would you have had me do? Sit weeping while *another* teammate was in danger? Stormwatch was about saving lives. I *had* to protect Malcolm!"

"Fine," Victoria growled savagely, not yet ready to concede her fury. "Fine for you. But what about Jenny? Or Jack? What about them? Did my team mean so little to them, too, that they couldn't be bothered to come to their fucking *memorial* service either?"

"They-" Shen's words were cut off by a contemptous snort.

"Save it," Victoria muttered, swallowing the huge lump in her throat. "I'm sure they had their reasons, too, but none of that changes the fact that I sat alone as we told them goodbye."

There was a long, awkward moment of silence.

"I *am* sorry, Vicky," Shen studied her clasped hands, eyes glistening in the dim light of the bar. "I know it may seem otherwise to you, but their sacrifice is not forgotten. I miss them too, more than you know. I just wish-" She broke off, distraught.

Victoria raised a hand to her downturned face, rubbing her temples. After a long moment, she raised her head. "You wish what?"

Swallowing her weakness, Shen met her old teammate's gaze with surprising forthrightness. "I wish you'd accepted Jenny's offer to join us."

Her companion smiled tightly. "I work alone now, Shen. Mostly simple extractions, hostage situations- that sort of thing. Things not big enough to be worth the Authority's time, but things that need doing anyway."

Almond eyes flashed in anger, but Shen held back a sharp retort. Victoria sighed loudly. "Listen, I didn't mean that like it sounded."

"I know," Shen conceded softly, defensiveness seeping out of her tone. "You have every right to be pissed, Victoria."

"Damn right I do." Dark lips twisted in the other woman's characteristically dry smile, then faded as Victoria lapsed into the melancholy that had been her constant companion over the last year. She sighed. "You must think I'm a basket case."

"No, I don't," Shen replied quickly, but Victoria heard the undertone of uncertainty in her voice.

She pushed the shards of broken glass into the center of the table, then picked up the largest piece, idly turning it over in her fingers. "Yeah, you do, but you're wrong. I might be a mess tonight, but I don't want you to think I'm like this all the time. The past year has been difficult, but I've made it through- I've survived. I'm just a little on edge tonight." Her voice was still cool and distant, and very, very proud.

Shen looked away, reminding herself that the razor sharp edges of simple glass wouldn't pierce her old teammate's invulnerable skin. "You don't have to justify yourself to me, Victoria." She pitched her words to be low, soft and soothing, but the other woman continued as if she hadn't heard.

"Tonight, all this," she waved her hands at the technicolor surrounding them, "Is just bringing it all back. I mean, we were *Stormwatch*," Victoria hit the table with the heel of her hand, and shards of glass rose slightly with the impact. "We fought terrorists and mutagens and conspiracies and the entire bloody world. We walked into the jaws of death on a daily basis. I always knew one day someone wouldn't make it back. I just never thought-"

Shen swallowed tightly, finishing her sentence. "That you would be the only one left behind."

"Yeah," Victoria murmured bleakly. "Yeah." She leaned forward, elbows on the table. She buried her face in her hands. "Damn, I just miss them so much."

Her eyes focused on the faceless crowd, but her vision turned inward. She'd been alone for a year. No teammates, no family, no friends- she'd survived, and done just fine, a voice deep inside whispered defiantly. She'd carved out a life for herself, and she'd been damn good at it. She'd done the things that had to be done, things that no one else could have done. Even so, she'd been so alone. To go from part of a team to a free agent had been bad enough, but to know that everyone else she loved was dead while she had lived- at their expense- had been unbearable.

Shen read her old friend's expression, then drew in a deep breath. She reached out a hand to rest lightly taloned fingers on Victoria's muscled forearm. The dark woman drew back sharply, then looked up at her in surprise.

"They wouldn't want you to hurt like this, Victoria," Shen ventured softly, poised on the edge of her chair to dart away if the other woman reacted badly to her guess. "What you're doing to yourself- they wouldn't want this. You know that."

Victoria's head shot up, and her mouth opened to shoot back a sharp retort. To her great surprise she found she had nothing to say. "It doesn't matter," she whispered hoarsely. "We went through too much together to have them go like that. I. . .I should have done something, Shen."

Shen leaned forward. "What, Vicky?" She shook her head emphatically, short dark hair falling over her eyes. "What could you have done? I read Jackson's report. Skywatch was breached and was headed towards Earth infected with aliens! You stopped them. Your team saved the world. What more could you have done?"

Victoria's shoulders stiffened, and her nostrils flared in anger. "I've asked myself that a thousand times," She choked, expression anguished. "Maybe if Nick and I hadn't been out drinking the night before my reaction time would have been better! Maybe I should have gone for that monster that grabbed Lauren first instead of blocking for Toshiro! I don't know what, but I should have done *something*!"

Shen listened to the self-loathing and blame in Victoria's voice, heard the desperation in her words. The winged woman thought for a long moment, weighing her options, then made a decision. She intentionally pasted a derisive expression on her face, snorting derisively, making her voice as mocking as possible.

"Oh, so that was it," Shen taunted mercilessly, hating the pain her calculated words were causing, knowing they had to be said. "You should have done *something*, is that it? What? What could you have done, *Flint*? Died with them?"

"YES!" Victoria yelled, slamming tightly clenched fists on the metal table, shaking the sturdy surface. The loud echo was soon absorbed the dull roar of the crowd.

"And what bloody good would that have done?" Shen demanded, uncowed by the outburst. "Victoria, don't you see that you're not honoring them by hiding yourself away from the world like this? You're not celebrating their memory- hell, you're not even grieving them properly!"

"How dare you tell me about my grief," Victoria growled, cultured voice lowering dangerously. "You barely even saw them after the teams split. How *dare* you presume to know how I felt- how I feel?"

"I lost a family too, Victoria," Shen bristled. "Not just Stormwatch, but my very blood and bones. I've seen my homeland raped by invaders, my entire culture devoured by outsiders. Don't tell me I don't know what loss feels like."

Victoria's eyes narrowed. "Kenya wasn't a playland, either," she muttered, then caught herself. "You know very well that's not what I meant."

Shen shook her head, eyes glistening in the dimness of the bar. "I know damn well how you feel, Victoria. Stormwatch died so that Earth could live. By closing yourself away from the world and everyone that cares about you, you're throwing away the gift they gave you. You're dishonoring their memory, and they deserve better than that."

Victoria pressed the balls of her hands against closed eyes. "Shen, I-"

"You what?" Shen demanded forcefully, rising from her seat. "You hurt? You should! You loved them, and now they're gone! I hurt too, Victoria. Jackson, Christine, even Jenny and Jack, no matter what you might think- we all hurt. We *all* miss them."

Dark eyes locked, and Shen leaned down so they were of a height. "You, though- you're their legacy. Don't you think they'd want better for you than this half-life you're living?"

Victoria swallowed, unable to look away from the truth in the other woman's piercing avian gaze. Realization dawned, and she had to bite her lip to hold back the tears. Her friends had died so she could live, and whatever she'd been doing for the last year, it hadn't been living. She fought back tears. They wouldn't have wanted her to isolate herself from the world or to hold such resentment in her heart. Her friends would not have wanted her to punish herself for surviving.

A year was a long time to carry such pain. 'If it were me gone, and Lauren still alive- I'd kick her ass if she acted this way.' She smiled softly at the thought, and felt a hard tight knot in her chest loosen ever so slightly.

The noise of the party around them faded to an indistinct background roar and the world narrowed to that single table. Accusations and anger forgotten, Shen reached across the table to clasp the other woman's dusky hand. Victoria stiffened, then squeezed Shen's hand gratefully.

"They were my family," Victoria murmured softly. "Lauren, Nikolas, Toshiro- even Nigel, dammit," she laughed through her tears. "Stormwatch went through so many changes, but the five of us held fast until the end."

She pulled her hand away, clasping it in her lap. Words came pouring out in a cathartic rush. "Maybe that's why this is so hard for me. Here, on your Carrier- The Authority is a team. It reminds me of what we used to be like. And I see you on the news every night- every single night, Shen- and I can't help but think that the name 'Stormwatch' is nothing but a rapidly fading memory, now."

"Wrong," Shen said firmly, shaking her head. "You couldn't *be* more wrong, Vicky. Look around you. I meant what I said. Everyone on this ship- hell, everyone on earth, and *especially* The Authority- owes our lives to Stormwatch in one way or another. We haven't forgotten at all- in fact, there's even several old members here at this party tonight."

Victoria wiped her eyes and sat up straighter, looking around the crowd slowly, searching for familiar faces. "Here? Tonight? Who?"

Shen grinned slyly, recognizing that she'd done as much to heal her friend as she could possibly do in one night. "Maybe if you weren't hiding out here in the corner you'd know," she teased, burying her message in a light, conversational tone.

Victoria nodded, quietly accepting the gentle rebuke. Bunched shoulders relaxed somewhat, and something very near a smile graced her elegant features. "I have ways of making you talk, Shen. I still remember a few old Spetznaz tricks Nick taught me-"

Swift laughed, a welcome reprieve from the lingering tension between them. "Oh, fine, you're no fun at all. Karl and Maya are here. Union's here." Shen inclined her head with a smile. "Several others, I'm sure. I think even Blademaster made it to this one."

"Blademaster?" Victoria nearly goggled at the thought of seeing their old teacher again. "Here? Are you serious?"

"Quite," Shen assured her. "Perhaps you'd like me to ask him to lead us in a few rounds-"

"Shut your mouth," Victoria cut her off, only half joking. "I *still* have nightmares about those early days. Nigel always bitched about Scythe being rough, but Blademaster? Now *he* was one tough training officer-"

Shen shuddered dramatically. "I remember. Quite an experience, wasn't it?" She raised a speculative eyebrow. "Of course, your first costume was so distracting that it's a wonder the poor boys got anything done, wasn't it?" She glanced sideways at her companion, then burst into laughter at the expression on Victoria's face.

Victoria coughed, dusky cheeks flushing with color. "Hey, I thought we agreed not to bring that up anymore, didn't we?" She smiled sweetly and went on the offensive. "Do you still have any of that face paint around here, Shen? What *was* that stuff, anyway, Stripey? Lipstick?"

Shen hooted in laughter, and Victoria joined her, the two grasping their sides and giggling like schoolgirls. Hilarity combined with pent up emotions to form a heady mixture of cathartic release. When they were- finally- done, Shen asked quietly, "Victoria, what made you finally come visit us? You've had an open invitation- what made you come tonight?"

Still grinning, Victoria arched a wry eyebrow. "In a nutshell? Jackson and Christine. They wouldn't get off my damn back and I thought this was the easiest way to get them to shut up about it already."

"A wise decision. Where are they, by the way?" Shen asked curiously, looking around the crowded room. "I saw them earlier, but in this crowd-"

"Beats me," Victoria shrugged, still smiling. She felt curiously light inside, as if the argument with Shen and resulting laughter had purged her of some of the darkness that'd followed her like a shroud. Endorphins, some part of her noted absently. Endorphins. Whatever it was, she wanted more. "They stayed with me for a while, but you know Jackson-"

Shen rolled her eyes. "Ah, the life of the party. He can't resist the lure."

Victoria looked askance. "Are we talking about the same Jackson King?"

"Tall, dark, handsome, unfortunately quite taken? Yes, the very one," Shen smiled wickedly. "Although if Christine ever tires of him. . ." She trailed off, suggestive expression completing the sentence for her.

"Damn, you sound just like Lauren," Victoria murmured with a smile. It felt good- damn good- to speak of her friend to someone who would share her memories. "She said almost the exact same thing to me one time."

Shen grinned, responding to the gesture with a memory of her own. "As I recall, she said something like that about all our male teammates at one time or another."

Victoria laughed aloud, a bit surprised at how good it felt to reminisce over so simple a thing as an old, dear friend. "So she did. She was teasing, though- she knew the one she wanted, and she got him."

Shen blinked, then her face slowly split in a disbelieving smile. "Jackson mentioned something about that, but I couldn't quite bring myself to believe him. Is it true? Did she and Nigel-"

Victoria nodded solemnly, but her eyes were dancing. "Like rabbits." She made a wry face. "Believe me, Lauren told me *all* about it, and from what Nick told me Nigel did the same thing with he and Toshiro. Way more information than we ever needed to know." She shook her head, but the smile was still there.

Shen made a smug face. "Hah! I *knew* it! I asked her about it once, but she brushed me off. 'Harmless flirting', my ass. . . How did the rest of you handle it?"

"What could we do?" Victoria raised her hands helplessly, exulting in the unaccustomed feel of reminsicing over pleasant memories. "They were so damn happy, and surprisingly enough they were great together. I worried about whether he was right for her, but even though Nigel was so . . . outgoing. . ."

"That's one way to put it," Shen interrupted, bemused by the memory of the outrageous Irishman.

Victoria's lips quirked in a grin. "That it was easy to forget how damn smart he was. I don't think she could have found another man who could challenge her like he did. And he was happier than I'd ever seen him. He was actually *sweet* with her- Nigel, sweet, if you can believe that!"

Her smile faded abruptly. "I just wish they could have had more time together." Implicit in the words was a longing for more time for them all.

Shen recognized the darkness looming and quickly moved to block it. "Then they were fortunate to find each other, even if only for a little while. You- we all- were fortunate to have such friends, even for a while."

She caught Shen's gaze and nodded. "Yes," she finally murmured, understanding and doing her best to accept the truth behind the kindness. "Yes, we were."

The slight woman extended a hand. "Then I have a proposition for you. I suggest that you and I round up every member of Stormwatch we can find and drink a toast in their honor."

Victoria paused, and then did something she could not have considered even an hour earlier. She smiled. "I think," she spoke slowly, carefully, feeling the burden on her heart lessen with each word, "I think I'd like that very much."

Shen caught her eyes and smiled, and together the twowomen slowly threading through the crowd until they reached a relatively empty space at the bar. Nearby, two handsome men sat side by side on the barstools, embodiments of dark and light with eyes only for each other.

Victoria saw them and, motioning discreetly, bent down to whisper in Shen's ear. "I've been reading the papers. So they're Out now, eh?"

Shen returned the whisper with a sly smile. "Were they ever in?"

Victoria laughed. "Good for them. I'm glad, but I shudder to think what response Nigel- or Nick, for that matter- would have made to that remark."

Shen stifled a laugh, then turned to greet her teammates, Victoria close behind. "Apollo, Midnighter- do you remember .. . . " She glanced at the other woman, an unspoken question in her eyes.

Victoria stepped forward. Taking a deep breath, she extended her hand. "Flint," she identified herself with a small but steady smile. "Late of Stormwatch. Nice to see you two again."

The dark man just grunted in acknowledgement, but the blond rose from his stool, a charming smile on his handsome face. He took her hand, cupping it warmly in both his huge palms. He smelled slightly of alcohol.

"Flint! Of course we remember you! Care to join us in a drink?"

Victoria glanced over her shoulder at the empty table, then back at the warmth and companionship before her here. Faces of old friends scrolled once more through her memories, but this time she felt comfort, not condemnation. They had died so she could live, and she wouldn't belittle their sacrifice by refusing to live her life to its fullest.

They deserved a better legacy than that.

Turning to Apollo, she nodded. "Yes, I think I will," she murmured, meeting Shen's approving gaze. "But just a quick one." Craning her neck to get a better view of the main room, she saw a flash of pale green skin beside pale blond hair, and she grinned, spotting Karl and Maya Royko. "I've got to meet some old friends for a toast."

Shen smiled broadly and motioned to the bartender for assistance. The Midnighter grunted, Apollo grinned, and Victoria took the drink that was offered her.

And the party raged on around them.

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