A couple of weeks ago, I was in a very poor state of mind regarding my writing. Angst overdose, anyone? There is a point past which it begins to affect the author as well, not just her poor tormented character. So, my good friends in #fictalk tried to cheer me up by taking my facetious suggestion about a Top Ten List list on this topic seriously, and providing me with a few side-splitting laughs along the way. Later, I tried to remember all of them that I could, and rounded out the list with a number of my own ideas. So, with help from Indigo, Tapestry and Sarah (consider this a blanket disclaimer, ladies), here is...


The Top Ten Reasons Cable Kicks Himself In The Ass

by Alicia McKenzie


10. I'm a Summers. Kick.

9. My father is a Summers. Kick.

8. I'm STILL a Summers. Kick.

7. Bishop sometimes gets bigger guns than me. Kick.

6. Dom loves her guns more than me. *sniffle* Kick.

5. Everyone I love dies. No, I'm not morbid, why do you ask? Kick.

4. Logan and I can't try and kill each other anymore, because he's afraid of upsetting Jean. The wuss. Kick.

3. If I stop concentrating, I turn into an erector set. Kick.

2. These strange women keep turning up and calling me the 'Chosen One'. Now, you tell ME why I don't have a sex life! Kick.

1. If my life were a T.V. show, the theme song would be 'Send In The Clones'. Kick.


[FOOTER]